


He's at it again

by NasdaqandtheStocks



Series: Inside you're thoughts, outside your head [2]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Again, F/M, Gen, Hatred, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Physical Abuse, Spooky Jim - Freeform, This is really heavy guys, Verbal Abuse, back at it again with the trashy ex girlfriend, i guess, it's really sad, very sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-06 00:18:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10320944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NasdaqandtheStocks/pseuds/NasdaqandtheStocks
Summary: After a year of recovery, Josh is back on tour with his best friend and life seems normal.That is until he sees familiar red eyes after their first concert back.This is the story of the return of Spooky Jim





	1. Stressed out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I won't fall in love with falling. I will try to avoid those eyes."   
> Air Catcher-Twenty One Pilots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy ho fair goers  
> This is the beginning of part 2 to a thingy that I wrote for some reason. This is much sadder and I feel like it's more intense than the first part. 
> 
> Just future warning for anything that might be triggering in here.

He stumbles backward, covering his throat with his hands, trying to get away from the monster that’s in front of him.

He begins to fall into a panic attack, collapsing and trying to breath in the air that refuses to filter through to his lungs. His heart races in fear as the signals in his brain are telling him to run.

_Joshua, please run. He’s dangerous. He’s real._

Tyler sees his best friend on the ground and immediately goes to him, realizing what’s going on with him. Jonas assists Josh, taking out his phone and calling an ambulance to come and get him.

“Josh…” His ears filter out Tyler’s voice along with all the sounds around him. No words or noise penetrate through his ears. His vision begins to blur as he tries to get away from all the hands grabbing at him. He keeps his hands securely around his throat, backing away from Spooky who locks eyes with him.

The last thing he sees before his vision completely fails is Spooky, staring down at him, grinning and his red eyes glowing against the night sky.

-

It’s bright. The sunshine coming through the blinds is the first thing he sees. Warm rays waking him from his slumber. He hears a faint beeping noise to his left and feels something poking into his skin.

The all too familiar hospital bed with the same heavy sheets and the uncomfortable thing under him that would just barely take the title of a mattress.

As he begins to take a look around the room, he notices a dark figure sitting in a chair beside him. He jumps, afraid that it may be Spooky again, coming to finish the job he once started. He realizes that it isn’t the red-eyed monster, but instead, it’s his best friend who’s snoring softly, mouth hanging slightly open.

“T-Tyler?” At the sound of the yellow haired man’s voice, Tyler snaps awake, looking around the room and then turning his attention to Josh who’s staring innocently at the man beside him. “What happened?” His voice shakes as he asks the question.

“You had a really bad anxiety attack after the show and you passed out. I was so worried about you…” Tyler looks down at his hands, feeling like a bad friend since he didn’t really help.

“Oh…” He bursts into tears remembering the events of the night before. His body begins to shake in fear as he curls in on himself. “T-Tyler, i-it was hi-him.”

“Who Josh? Who?” Alert, his friend takes one of his hands and begins to gently massage it to calm the drummer down.

“Sp-Spooky! He’s real T-Tyler. An-And he’s coming for me. He w-wants to k-kill me. I-He-I-“ Josh sobs into Tyler’s shoulder, body shaking harder than before. He can’t bear the thought of Spooky being real while C is still well in his head.

His throat begins to close and he can no longer say any words. He wants to scream. He wants to cry out for help, rip his mind into shreds. All these thoughts and then this nightmare that came true are things that he wishes he could burn. Burn straight out of his head and out of existence. But he can’t do that and it’s driving him insane.

“Oh…That’s who that was? The one with the eyes and the smile?”

The shorter man only nods his head in response. He doesn’t expect Tyler to really understand how terrifying this truly is. He wasn’t in a mental state where one part of his thoughts tried to strangle the life out of him. He didn’t have to live with that voice roaming through his head and torturing him with its words.

“I’ll fight for you if you can’t. and I’ll fight with you if you can.” Tyler wraps his arms around the shorter male, caressing his yellow locks of hair and softly humming a tune to calm his fears.

-

_Hey Josh, this is Ashley…I really need to talk to you about something. It’s really…um…important. Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Please call me back._

-

“I’m so sorry this happened Josh.” Jonas says, taking a bite of his sandwich. He looks up at the older man who’s looking down at his food, reconsidering eating it.

“It isn’t your fault I had a panic attack.” Josh answers quietly, poking at his food with a fork. He thinks for a moment and looks at Jonas, straight into his colored contact covered eyes. “Please be careful around Spooky. You don’t know how dangerous he is…” The man looks around, paranoid that the other red eyed man is watching him and listening in on his conversation.

Bewildered, Jonas nods his head, trusting Josh’s word. When he met Spooky, he was truly happy to find someone who was just like him. Somebody that understood how it felt to be an outlier because of something he couldn’t control.

Obviously if Josh seems this freaked out about something, he should heed his warning. “O-Okay.” Jonas stutters, finishing his sandwich and wiping his hand on a napkin.

_He doesn’t really understand._

I know.

I don’t think they will.

-

_Hey Josh, It’s Ashley again. There’s something really really important that I need to tell you…I really need to talk to you. Call me back. Bye._

-

Home at last. After another few days back in that place, he’s sure he never wants to go back. He doesn’t want to be restricted to a room and in a bed that isn’t his. Not again.

He goes to his living room and sits on his couch, taking in the room and getting comfortable in it. He finally gets a chance to check his phone since he wasn’t awake for long enough at the hospital to check it.

He sees loads of notifications on his screen and a bunch of missed calls. Some from his mother, others from his siblings, and then about 8 from Ashley.

What does she want?

_Joshua, make sure you don’t fall into a hole with her again._

I won’t, I just want to know why she’s spamming me.

Going to his messages, he taps on her number to reveal that she’d been texting him since he’s been in the hospital.

_A: Josh, I need to talk to you._

_A: Please?_

_A: Please don’t ignore me right now._

_A: Please answer it’s really important._

He reads through about 34 messages from her and decides that he might as well call his ex-lover just to stop her from calling him.

_“Hello?” She answers tiredly._

_“Ashley, it’s me. I saw your messages. What’s going on?”_

_“I need to talk to you in person. Can you come over?”_

_“Just come over to my place, I actually just got back from the hospital and I’m not really looking to go anywhere else tonight.” He gets up from his couch and walks slowly to his bedroom, flicking the switch and falling onto his bed._

_“Okay…I’ll be right over…Can I bring Emerson with me?” She asks cautiously._

_“Sure, I honestly don’t care.” He says with a monotone voice._

_“Thank you. See you in a few.”_

He won’t treat it like the old days where he’d happily accept her into his home and they’d just hang out and talk. This is nothing like that. He doesn’t love her like that anymore. They aren’t even friends. She’s just a stranger that keeps trying to make her way back into his life and he can’t afford for that to happen. He can’t afford to be heartbroken again and his emotions can’t handle that much disappointment anymore.

He scrolls through twitter while he waits for Ashley to come to his house, looking at people’s comments and fan art that he’s been tagged in.

About 5 minutes after the phone call, his doorbell rings. He sighs, getting up from his bed, straying away from being comfortable. He goes to the front door and cautiously opens it.

He lets his ex into his place slightly nodding as she comes in. He gestures for her to sit down and she lugs the car seat holding her son in it to the couch with her.

“So, what’s going on?” He questions her, crossing his arms, trying to get this over with quickly.

“Well I um…I have some news for you that…may change your life, and I know you might not like it.” She fiddles with the ring on her right index finger, nervous out of her mind to tell him what she did.

“Okay…what?”

“I-Emerson is your son, Josh…” She quickly says looking down at her hands which have begun to sweat.

At first, he just stares at her. Then he starts laughing. What type of thing is she trying to pull over his head now?

“You…heh…no, Ashley. That’s YOUR son, along with whoever you… _did it_ with, which isn’t me because we never did that.” He laughs at how absurd her accusation is.

She looks up at him, guilt showing all over her face. “Yes, we did Josh.”

“No, we didn’t. I told you that I’d stay good until I got married. We never got married.” He smirks, shaking his head at her.

“Josh…we did…because I…I drugged you…” She closes her lips tightly, afraid of his response.

He immediately stops laughing and turns serious. “You what, Ashley?”


	2. Tainted love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes I feel I've got to, run away, I've got to, get away from the pain you drive into the heart of me."  
> Tainted love-Soft Cell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again with the frequent updates. Heh...

“I-I drugged you. I wanted…something more than just cute kisses and cute talk. I wanted…you, Josh and I don’t mean your personality. I knew you wouldn’t give me what I wanted, so I…acted accordingly. I…I got something from someone and I put it in your drink one night and…I had my way. You got so sick the next morning, I thought you were dying. I…I played it off as you having food poisoning and you believed me. The guy that I was with started getting suspicious and he wanted me to go get Emerson a DNA test, but by then I already knew that he was yours. You and him were the only ones that I…ever did anything with and Emerson isn’t his…and he looks just like you…” She trails off, not even able to finish her sentence because she’s so ashamed.

He’s appalled by what she just told him. Every part of him is disgusted. He wants to throw up just at the thought of her taking advantage of him like that and pretending that it didn’t happen. He places a hand over his mouth, tears streaming down his face as he tries to hold in anything that tries to come up. He begins to shake once more, mind in disbelief, skin crawling. Chills run up and down his as he looks over at her. There are no words that he can say to her, no number of syllables or sounds that can express how upset he is, or how utterly disgusted he is. He’s afraid that if he even opens his mouth, something other than words will fly out.

Ashley sits with her hands folded, tears dripping onto them as she really realizes what she’s done. After the fact, she felt good, she got what she wanted and she felt no remorse. As time went on, the thought of what she did kept coming to haunt her. All the lies she made to cover up everything she had done coming right back to her. But none of that can compare to how she feels right now, looking at Josh and seeing how she made him cry again. Not tears of happiness, tears of sorrow and disbelief.

“Josh…I’m sorry…” He stands up and slowly starts walking toward his bedroom.

“J-Just…g-go h-home.” He stops in the middle of the hallway, back facing her.

“I-“

“JUST GET AWAY FROM ME OKAY! please…” He yells, breaking down and falling to the floor, sobbing into his hands.

All she can think to do is leave. She’s caused enough damage to him and she knows that there’s no other reason for her to stay.

Ashley gets up, takes her son, and goes out the door without another word.

-

He stumbles into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before everything spills out of his mouth. He feels so sick and so so dirty.

Every part of him feels violated. He wants to rip off his skin and just burn. Burn everything away. All the pain, all the fear, everything.

He doesn’t dare move, feeling more coming up his throat and out of his mouth.

He screams at the top of his lungs, sobs breaking through as his voice cracks.

“WHY ME? WHAT DID I DO?” He wails, looking up to the sky. His throat burns like fire, but his skin is freezing. He flushes, curling up on the floor into a fetal position, rocking back and forth as he sobs loudly.

“WHY!” He yells once more, stomach clenching at the thought of it happening.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He barely has enough strength to lift his head off the floor, but he makes an attempt to take his phone out of his pocket.

It’s Tyler, calling to check on him. He answers it, needing somebody to talk to so he won’t do something he’ll regret.

“H-hello?” He croaks, voice barely audible.

“Hey Josh. Are you okay?” Josh thinks carefully about the question at hand. Should he tell the truth or lie and say he’s fine?

“N-no…c-can you come over?” His voice comes out raspy.

“Yeah, I was actually on my way there. I bought you food so I’ll be there in less than a minute.”

“Okay…well…bye.”

“Bye.”

Although his friend is coming, he doesn’t move. He feels too weak to go anywhere.

There’s a knock on his front door, then a pause. He can hear the door being unlocked, opened and then closed.

“Josh?” Tyler calls out to his friend, going into the kitchen and setting the food in his hands on the counter.

With the little strength that he has left, he pushes himself up from the cold tile floor and turns the nob to the door, cracking it open. He steps out, legs like jelly as he wobbles towards the kitchen.

The lead singer turns around once he hears Josh come into the room. The smile that he has on his face quickly disappears as he looks at the man in front of him whose eyes are red and puffy, with faded lips and pale skin.

“Josh…” he goes in for a hug and the shorter male collapses into his arms, crying once more. “It’s okay, just come and sit down with me.” He leads him to the couch and looks at him.

The older man just sniffs, trying to stop the tears that are flowing freely from his eyes.

“Did you just throw up Josh?” Tyler asks, knowing that look all too well. Josh nods his head in response.

Tyler gets up, goes to the kitchen, and grabs a cold bottle of water from the fridge and gives it to his friend.

“What happened?” He hands the water bottle to his friend who immediately opens it and drinks it down, the cool liquid soothing his burning throat.

The drummer’s almond shaped eyes stare sadly at the singer who sits next to him, worried out of his mind.

“She…she came to my house tonight and…Tyler, I have a son. Em-merson is my son…she told me what she did…Tyler she…” he chokes on his tears feeling embarrassed to even mention it to his friend or anyone. Maybe this is a bad idea.

_You can do it Joshua._

“Sh-she…she told me that one night she…drugged me and-and then she…” He can’t say the words. He doesn’t ever want them to be in his mouth.

“Oh my God…” Tyler places his hands over his mouth. He can’t believe what Josh just said. There’s no way anybody could do that to Josh. Nobody could be that evil.

“I-I just…I’m so weak...I couldn’t even defend m-myself if I t-tried to…and I just…I can’t…I can’t do this anymore…I’ve tried and…I just feel so dirty, Tyler…” All he can do is cry, feeling helpless.

“I’m gonna kill her. She can’t just do that. You can’t just do that to someone.” Tyler balls up his fists, hot tears falling down his face. Tyler isn’t the type to want to hurt people, but once someone messes with somebody he loves, he gets defensive.

“No…don’t…please don’t tell anybody, please. I’m so ashamed…”

They sit together in silence, Josh not even able to physically say anything and Tyler, who’s so heartbroken that he can’t say anything either.

“I won’t Josh…I promise.”

-

Tyler steps out of his friend’s house, mind racing, heart in pieces. The cold November air hitting his face as he quickly walks to his car.

Once he gets in his car he breaks down, screaming and punching the steering wheel, avoiding the horn.

He sits there, head leaning against the wheel, sobbing.

-

He hasn’t eaten in 2 days, not being able to stomach anything. No texts or phone calls have been sent out by him. He’s barely been in his house, knowing that someone might come to try and talk to him.

Instead, he goes to the top of that same hill where everything went wrong, and he stays there, trying to pick out constellations since that’s much easier than trying to figure out what his life is anymore.

Nobody ever goes up to the hill, it’s been abandoned and forgotten. Just another piece of scenery that’s left behind.

Tonight, he’s curled up, alone, trying to empty his mind. Sometimes, he thinks that it may be better living in solitude. Nobody can hurt him or try to kill him. Nobody can disappoint him. Nobody can make him afraid. Except for himself.

Closing his eyes, he takes in the scent of the air, just trying to calm down and breath.

In

Out

In-

**“That won’t help you.” A voice calls to him. He’s too afraid to open his eyes. “You know you’re a wreck.”**

“H-how did you-“

**“Find you? Easy. I was in your head and I knew exactly where you’d go. I know you Josh. I’m just the part of you that you never wanted.” Spooky hisses at the man on the ground.**

“How d-did y-you get out?”

**“I dunno. Once C _attempted_ to kill me, I got out somehow. Being my own person is much better than having to survive in your pathetic little brain.”**

_I thought I did kill him._

_Joshua, you saw it, too right?_

Josh opens his eyes to see the red eyed man standing over him, sneering.

**“Oh don’t worry, I’ll let you live for now…I don’t know if I even want to look at you. You’re pitiful and you know it’s true.” Spooky kicks Josh in the arm. He barely flinches, feeling pain burn through his arm, but ignoring it nonetheless.**

**“Look at you. You lay up here trying to ignore everybody like you’re special. You aren’t. Why don’t you be a man for a change, huh? The only word I have for you is Pathetic! Ugh, you disgust me Josh.” Spooky comments, walking away and shaking his head.**

“I disgust myself…”

-

_“Here Josh, drink this. I just bought it today and I think you might like it.” Ashley hands Josh a cup of purple juice._

_“What is it?” He sniffs it, taking a sip._

_“It’s like pomegranate juice, or something like that. I think it’s pretty good.” She shrugs, taking a sip of her drink._

_He nods his head as he drinks the rest of his. “Yeah it does. Thank you.” He smiles at her._

_“You’re welcome.”_

_He begins to get sleepy all the sudden, yawning and blinking his eyes._

_“You tired?” Ashley smiles at him._

_“Y-yeah actually…” His vision starts to blur a little bit. That isn’t usually what happens when he gets tired. Something must be wrong._

_“Here,” Ashley grabs his hand, “I’ll help you to bed.”_

_“Thanks…”_

_“No problem.”_


	3. Trapdoor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He pretends he's okay but you should see, him in bed, late at night. He's petrified"  
> "Trapdoor" by twenty one pilots

Debby decides that she needs to stop by Josh’s house. She’s concerned about him. Nobody has talked to him in 4 days and he hasn’t answered any call or text. It’s causing a bit of panic within his group of loved ones.

She knocks on the door, facing away from the wind as it blows cold air at her.

“Josh…” She tries the doorknob which is unlocked. “Oh no.”

Debby lets herself into his place, closing the door behind her, looking around, trying to spot the yellow haired man. She walks to his bedroom and steps in. She sees his phone lying on his nightstand, buzzing every now and then. There’s no sign of Josh.

She hears the front door open and she steps into the hallway, trying to see if it’s Josh. The man comes into his house and spots Debby immediately. He jumps, fear flaring through his body.

“Josh…I’m sorry I barged in. I was just worried about you…” Debby takes a few steps towards the drummer. He takes a few steps away from her.

“W-what are you doing here? W-what d-do you w-want? P-please don’t h-hurt me.” Josh’s fear filled eyes sparkle with fresh tears.

“What? Josh, why would I hurt you?” She inches closer to him, trying not to make him upset.

“Just don’t touch me! I-I don’t wanna be touched. She touched me and I don’t wanna be touched.” He cries backing up more to the couch, stumbling and falling onto it.

“Who touched you? Was it Ashley? W-what did she do?” Debby stays near the front door, not trying to go any further.

Josh nods his head, tears spilling onto his shirt.

“Did she…did she…rape you?” There’s no way she could’ve done that. There’s no way.

Josh looks up at Debby, not saying a word. He stays quiet while his tear-filled eyes say a thousand words.

“Joshua…”

“Please don’t tell. Please just…”

“I’m not leaving. I need to know that you’ll be okay.”

“I…I don’t think I ever will be.”

-

_His head is screaming in pain. His stomach hurts so bad. Ashley sits beside him on his bed, rubbing his back._

_“You aren’t running a fever.” She says, looking at the thermometer in her hand._

_“Why do I feel like crap though?” Josh holds his stomach, leaning onto Ashley’s shoulder._

_“Food poisoning probably. Or maybe it was that drink that I gave you. Can you get sick off of a drink like that?”_

_“I don’t knooowww…ohhhh.”He groans in pain._

_“I’m sorry you feel like this baby. Do you want me to take you to the hospit-“_

_“No, no thank you. I’ll live.”_

_-_

“That *” Debby mutters, sitting next to Josh on the couch, holding him in her arms. “I can’t stand her. I want to kill her.”

“Am I pathetic to you? When we were together, did you only want me for what I physically have?” Josh asks quietly.

“Josh, no! I love you for what’s on the inside. I also love you for what’s on the outside too, but that isn’t that important. Your muscles can’t calm me down when I’m in a bad mood. Your legs can’t make me smile when I need to most. And I think the word pathetic should only be used for the bad guys of the world and you aren’t one of them.”

He nods, feeling a tiny bit better.

“Have you told anybody?” She questions carefully.

“Only you and Tyler…everyone else will think I’m disgusting…”

“They won’t Josh. You need to tell the police or something. She can’t just get away with-“

“She’s the mother of my son…”

Debby sits there for a moment, heart dropping in her chest, “E-Emerson is…yours?”

He nods his head, a tear slipping down his cheek.

“And this is from her doing this to you?” Again, he nods his head, shivering.

“I’m gonna murder this-“

“Please just…just don’t. It’s already over. She got what she wanted and it’s over.”

Debby sits there, contemplating whether she should act or not. She won’t do it.

“If I see her, I’m punching her in the-“

“Debby please…”

“Fine. But I won’t let anybody hurt you like that ever again.”

-

**_S: Drink Josh_ **

**_S: You know that’s all you’re good for_ **

**_S: Drinking yourself to sleep or even to death_ **

**_S: Not ever accomplishing anything_ **

**_S: You’re a disappointment to your family. You didn’t go to college_ **

**_S: You didn’t get a real job, playing in a stupid band that people laugh at_ **

**_S: You went to the hospital 3 times just for drinking too much, you made your mother cry_ **

**_S: You’re impossible to handle_ **

_J: How did you get my number_

**_S: I know everything about you Josh._ **

_J: Go away_

**_S: It ain’t that easy to get rid of me_ **

**_S: And you know it._**

**_-_ **

“Tyler, are you alright? You’ve been so out of your head lately.” Jenna looks at her husband who stares blankly at the wall.

“No…I’m just, ugh!” Tyler nds up in frustration. He promised Josh he wouldn’t tell anybody else, but he wants to tell Jenna so badly.

“Somebody…” He pauses, trying to choose his words carefully, “hurt one of my friends really really badly and…I can’t stand it! What this person did needs to be punished by jail. And this person, oooo I wanna throw a chair at their head. I mean, how cruel of a person do you have to be to do this to somebody. Frickin’ UGH!”

Bright red cheeks along with hot tears are wiped away by Jenna who takes his face in her hands and looks deeply into his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me who it is, but you can talk to me about it if you want.”

She takes his hand and guides them to their newly made bed. “Spill.”

“So this friend has been having lots of problems over the course of the past year a and now things are just going farther downhill from them. And now someone that this person knew came in and just…told them that they did something to them like a year ago that resulted into something so much more than my friend bargained for and now my friend is broken again, because of this person, and I just…oh geez…” He puts a hand over his forehead.

Jenna figured out who it was the moment her husband started the story. The story perfectly fits Josh’s description with Ashley as the antagonist once again.

She wants to know what happened, but clearly if Tyler didn’t tell her to begin with, she doesn’t need to pry.

“Just…I’ll deal with it. I need to go check up on-“

“Josh?”

“Yeah…”

“Tell him I said hello please.”

He gets up from the bed and walks to the doorway, stopping and smiling at his wife.

“Yes dime-piece wife.”

-

_Momma: Joshua honey, please answer_

_J: Sorry mom_

_M: Where have you been? You haven’t answered in a week_

_J: In my head mom_

_M: Joshua, are you okay?_

_J: I’m fine_

_M: Joshua, I know you aren’t_

_J: I’m fine_

_M: I know honey. Do you want to talk about it?_

_J:I…I need time_

_M: Okay honey, whenever you’re ready_

_J: Thank you_

_-_

_@twentyonepilots: We are sorry to announce another break in the tour. There are a lot of things that are happening that are unexpected and they need time. When we are back on tour, we’re going to the same places, and new tickets are not needed, but we are willing to give refunds for these tickets if it is desired. We thank you for your immense patients. Stay alive frens.|-/_

_-_

**_S: Booze_ **

**_S: Alcohol_ **

**_S: Vodka_ **

**_S: Whiskey_ **

**_S: Beer_ **

**_S: Alcoholic Beverage_ **

**_S: Hard apple cider_ **

**_S: You can’t ignore me Josh_ **

**_S: I’m everywhere you go_ **

**_S: I’m still well in your head_ **

Josh reads over the 100 messages that were sent by Spooky while he slept. He was considering taking up his offer on drinks.

_A: Hey Josh_

_A: Don’t_

_J: Just stop okay_

_J: You just… I need more time before I can talk to you_

_A: Okay. I’m sorry_

His stomach rumbles, but he ignores it. He’s been doing it for 5 days. Physically, but not mentally ready to put anything in his body.

He doesn’t want to get out of bed today, feeling horrible on the inside and out.

It’ll never be the same. He may never feel comfortable in his own skin ever again.


	4. Isle of flightless birds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All we are is an isle of flightless birds. We find our worth in giving birth and stuff."

_*3 months later*_

“We can have joint custody of him.” Ashley sips her tea. Josh agreed to meet her at a nearby Starbucks to talk about plans for Emerson.

“Okay.” Josh stares out the window, still not strong enough to look at her for more than 10 seconds.

“I know you’ll be on tour sometimes, so what if I take him when you’re away and when you’re here, you can keep him depending on how long you’re here for.” She says softly, knowing that trust isn’t something that Josh has for her.

“Okay.”

“Josh-“

“What! What else do you want me to say? You know what you did. It’s a wonder I’m even here. I-I’m terrified to even be near you! I-I’m only here for my son…” Josh sniffs, blinking away the tears forming in his eyes.

Ashley sits across from the broken man, awkwardly looking down at her hands, cheeks turning red.

They sit in silence for a moment, the quiet background noise of the shop filling the space between them.

“I-I’ve never gotten to…to meet my son…or to hold him…” He shakes his head, “this is so twisted.”

“You can hold him right now if you’d like…”

Josh finally looks up at her, longing in his eyes. She takes the small boy out of his car seat and carefully places him in Josh’s arms.

Her finger touches his skin briefly and he flinches, not wanting the contact with her. “S-sorry…”

He shakes it off like it didn’t happen, focusing his attention on the baby in his arms.

A whole year, he’s missed out on his son’s life and he didn’t even know it. He missed the birth and the naming of his first child. The first major part of his life was spent away from his father all because of Ashley.

Emerson is small. A tiny hand holds onto Josh’s right index finger. His small, brown eyes open and they stare at Josh, looking over his face. Emerson smiles, dimples showing on both of his cheeks.

His eyes are just like Josh’s: almond shaped mocha colored, slightly Asian looking. Faint brown freckles scatter his nose and cheeks. A curly mop of brown-black hair tops his head.

He can’t help but smile at the sight in front of him. This is the best thing that’s happened to him in a long time and it’s the last thing that’s come out of this pain he’s been through.

Josh rubs a thumb over his cheek, staring in awe at his son. “I love you…”

“I gotta go somewhere tonight and take care of some business. Do you…wanna take him tonight or…”

“Yes.”

-

“And that’s all you’ll need for him. Don’t worry though, he doesn’t wake up much during the night and he rarely cries.”

“Thanks…”He focuses on his son who’s sleeping comfortably in his car seat.

“Yeah, no problem…” She half smiles at him, then begins walking down his front steps and to her car.

The drummer closes the front door to his house, stopping the cold air from coming in. He takes his son to his bedroom and sets him down on his bed.

“EJ you’re so cute…” He whispers, excited for the night with his son.

He gets an idea, grabbing pillows and an extra blanket from his closet and setting up temporary sleeping arrangements for his new guest.

“That’ll work.” He shrugs, observing his handiwork, smirking at the attempt. Carefully, he unbuckles Emerson from the car seat and slowly lifts him from the contraption he slept in. He stirs a little, but stops once his head rests on a pillow. “There you go.”

Josh decorates the space with two stuffed animals while draping one of the blankets Ashley included in the dipper bag. He climbs onto the bed, slowly, sitting next to his baby boy.

“Sleep soundly EJ.”

-

His eyes fly open when he hears a noise coming from the kitchen. Quickly, he looks to his left to see Emerson still sleeping soundly, and breathes a sigh of relief.

Getting out of bed, he quietly tip toes out o of his room, leaving Emerson and going towards the kitchen. He peeks in and sees somebody rummaging through his pantry.

“H-hey!” He speaks with minimal courage and fear lingering in his voice.

The person stops and comes from out the pantry. Red eyes stare straight at him.

**“Josh! Hey buddy! Long time no see.” Spooky booms sarcastically.**

“I’m not your buddy and I don’t want to see you anyway. What are you doing here?” Josh crosses his arms and leans up against the door frame.

**“I just wanted to hang, chill.” He takes a box of crackers out of the pantry and opens it, shoving his hand in and taking a few out. “Did I wake you?”**

“Yeah, you did.”

**“Huh, tragic.” Spooky laughs, sending chills up Josh’s spine.**

Suddenly, crying can be heard from his bedroom, a sense of loneliness following it.

**Spooky perks up, smiling sinisterly, “Oh Joshua Dun, what is that I hear? Is that a baby?”**

They stand there for a second, making eye contact and then Josh runs to his room, attempting to close his door before Spooky can get in, but he fails.

The other man comes in, almost knocking Josh over. Emerson continues to wail as Spooky steps closer to him. His red eyes glow in the dark room as he stares down at the child.

_Keep him away from Emerson, Joshua._

_Don’t let him touch your son._

_Please…_

Josh jumps in front of him, picking up the crying boy from the bed and holding him closely.

**“Oh, how precious. Josh, you finally found somebody to keep you company.” Spooky mocks, looking at him and his son.**

“Shut up.”

**“Let me see him.” Spooky holds out his hands and then decides to grab for him since Josh won’t obey his commands.**

“Don’t touch my son.” Josh steps away from the man in front of him.

**Spooky stops for a moment, shocked, putting his hand down. He looks at Josh, then at Emerson, then back at Josh. Spooky begins laughing hysterically. “That’s-That’s your son? Hah!”**

**“Wh-WHO in their right mind would sleep with you? You and your pathetic body. I’ve seen it many times. I j-just I can’t…that’s hilarious.” Spooky laughs, looking at the weeping child.**

**Spooky stops laughing and stares at the child. Turning angry at the sight of him. Emerson continues to cry, hitting a nerve in Spooky’s corrupted brain. “Ugh SHUT UP!”**

Emerson pauses in fear staring up at the man then turning back around nuzzling his head into Josh’s chest crying louder out of fear.

“Hey! Don’t you ever, in any place or at any fricking time, yell at my son ever again.” The drummer shoves Spooky who stumbles backwards, staring at the man in disbelief.

**“YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO DO THAT BUT JOSHUA WILLIAM DUN I CAN KILL YOU RIGHT NOW IF I WANTED. I COULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU SO QUICKLY YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO SAY A WORD. I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE TERROR.” HIS EYES BURN RED LIKE FLAMES AS HE GETS IN JOSH’S FACE, CLENCHING HIS FISTS. HIS NECK BEGINS TO TRANSFORM WITH BLACK SPREADING OVER IT, ALONG WITH ON HIS HANDS.**

_Confidence is all YOU NEED._

“I don’t care, but I won’t let you touch my son for as long as I’m alive and breathing.”

Spooky stares down at him, his rage causing panic to flare within Josh as he rocks his son.

**“KNOW THIS JOSHUA DUN, I’LL BE BACK AND I HAVE ONE LAST THING TO SAY,” Spooky gets close to Josh’s ear, “YOU BETTER RUN AND KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR SON.”**

The hairs on the back of his neck stand on edge as Spooky’s hot minty, breath touches his skin.

Swiftly, the stronger man leaves the house, slamming the front door behind him so hard that dishes in the kitchen rattle.

What does that mean?

_I don’t know Joshua, but I think you need to hide Emerson._

_He isn’t messing around._

-

A cold sunny day in Ohio. Snow falls gently down to the ground, sparkling on top of dead, brown grass. The sky is overcast, but bright somehow. It’s one of those days when somebody would want to stay inside and sleep, even if they had a million things to do out in the cold.

Joshua sits on his newly made bed, holding his son, playing with him. He’s making his best attempts to get EJ into a good mood before he takes him out into the freezing weather.

“Okay baby boy, are you ready?” He puts his son on his hip, carrying his diaper bag on his opposite shoulder and going to the front door, looking at Emerson. “Let’s go little man.”

He opens the door and a burst of cold air hits them in their faces, bringing tears to the corners of their eyes. Emerson snuggles into Josh’s jacket, clinging onto him. The father rushes to his car, opening the back door and safely putting EJ into his seat. He closes the door, hurrying to the driver’s side door and getting in. He looks in the rear-view mirror and smiles, “It’s time to go meet grandma and grandpa.”

-


	5. Lane boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you get in between someone I love and me, you're gonna feel the heat of my cavalry."  
> "Lane boy" by twenty one pilots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a while...here's the next chapter...hopefully it's pretty good

The snow covers the sidewalk and the grass, shimmering and sparkling. Josh rings the doorbell, holding EJ and his car seat and trying to stay warm with the scarf around his neck.

EJ’s cheeks turn bright red as the wind brushes against his face, freckles barely visible under the bright red shade. Josh had made sure to wrap his son up to protect him from getting sick.

Abby, one of his sisters, answers the door, smiling at her older brother when she sees him. “Josh! Hey! Come in, come in, it’s cold!” She wills him in, closing the door once he steps in. “Oh my gosh, it’s a baby! Josh, there’s a baby!”

“Joshua, honey, is that you? Come to the living room.” His mother calls to him. He hears the voices of his other siblings and his father laughing in the other room.

He slides off his shoes, walking over to the other room, carrying his child with him while his younger sister follows behind, trying to get a look at the boy.

“Oh Josh, you’re finally home. Oh! Who’s this?” His mother hugs him and looks in the car seat.

“Hi mom, hey dad. This is Emerson.” He sits down on the floor beside his brother, Jordan, who’s invested in a show he’s watching. Abby and his other sister, Ashley, both flock over to Emerson cooing at him.

“Jordan, your brother.” His father gestures at his oldest son, trying to get his attention.

“Oh yeah! Hey Josh. Sup.” Jordan says glancing briefly at his brother, then back at his show.

Ashley realizes that she lost her manners due to the cute child in front of her, “Hey Josh! Sorry, this is a really cute baby.” Ashley taps Emerson’s nose and he giggles, grabbing for Ashley’s hair.

“Hey…”

“So Josh,” His mom grabs the remote and turns off the TV, “What’s going on? What’s the news?”

“MOOOOOOM! That was my shoooooww!” Jordan whines, sitting crisscross on the white carpeted floor, looking back at his mother.

“Your brother needs to talk, Jordan, be respectful.” Momma Dun warns her youngest son. “Josh.”

“So…I have some very…um…surprising news and it’s very important news that I have to share with y-you…” He stutters on accident. He pauses taking a breath and choosing his words carefully, “This baby…I…he’s…Emerson is…mine…He’s my s-son.”

Laura’s mouth hangs open, along with the rest of his family as the look between him and the baby boy.

“But…oh…oh wow…when did this…oh geez…” His mother clasps her hands together, looking at the baby boy, trying to process the information.

“I just found out th-that he’s mine, but…The only reason that this happened was because…because…” Tears begin to form in his eyes.

He looks down at his hands and covers his mouth with his hands. “I’m sorry…”

“Sorry for what Joshua? W-what happened?” His mom asks him, concerned by the expression on his face. He avoids eye contact with any of his family and looks at the ground, tears dropping onto the carpet.

“I-I didn’t want to, but-but…” He chokes on his tears, hiding his face from them, “I was good…but-but I’m sorry mom, dad. It’s not my fault! I didn’t want to and I didn’t know and-and she just…she…she d-drugged me and…and she s-sexually assaulted me…and I’m s-so sorry…” He says more words that only come out as gibberish as he sobs harder than he did when he found out.

He’s just so embarrassed. Ashamed of what happened to him. He wants to crawl into a hole and hide away from the world. Away from the judgmental eyes. Where people won’t criticize him, and look down on him. If anybody else finds out, they’ll all hate him, think he’s disgusting. And as he sits in front of his family right now, crying in front of them, exposing his vulnerabilities, he feels even worse than he did the day Ashley told him the news.

“Wait…WHAT?! WHO HURT YOU?” Momma Dun stands up, defense mode turning on in her mind as she looks at her weeping son. Someone hurt her baby.

His lip quivers as more tears spill out of his eyes. He didn’t mean to break down again, not in front of his family. He thought he’d be okay, but he was wrong.

“I’ll fight her.” Abby’s face turns red in anger, “How could she do this to you?! Who did this to you?”

He doesn’t answer at first, messing with the strings on his sweatshirt, but he wills himself to say something, “A-Ashley…”

The room goes quiet for a moment, everyone at a standstill.

“IMMA KILL HER. NOBODY DOES THAT. ESPECIALLY NOT TO YOU JOSH!” Ashley stands up and goes to the door, putting her shoes on.

“I’m coming with you!” Abby follows after her.

“Me too!” Jordan jumps up and joins his sisters by the door. They all walk out, slamming the door behind them.

Momma Dun is sobbing now, hurt and furious. Hurt because people in this world can be so cruel. Hurt because somebody would dare hurt her son like that. “Joshua, I’m so-so sorry…” she kneels down and hugs her crying boy.

“M-momma, I’m sorry” He sobs, “D-dad…I’m so sorry…”

His father kneels too, tears streaming down his face just as much as his wife.

“Don’t be sorry Joshua. Please don’t be sorry.”

-

Abby drives frantically towards his brother’s torturer’s house, hands gripping the steering wheel with pale knuckles, eyes constantly dripping hot, salty tears.

“God, I know you said not to kill anybody and I won’t, but if I hit her…I think that’ll be okay…Yeah…God, it’s for Josh…”

“Abby…Calm down okay…” Ashley wipes her eyes on her sleeve, putting a hand on her sister’s shoulder.

“But she just…” She stops talking, breaking down but trying not to crash the car. “She can’t get away with this.”

The bunch sits in the car quietly on their way to Ashley’s house, seeking pay back for their older brother.

-

“Josh, why-why didn’t you tell us earlier? Why didn’t you s-say anything?” His father stutters, handing his wife a couple tissues to wipe her face.

“I just…I’m so ashamed…I th-thought you’d be disgusted and you’d think I’m weak…and I am. I can’t even defend myself, I-I cry too much…I’m a disgrace to this family and an embarrassment to everyone in it…I wish I was never even b-“

“Josh, no. You aren’t weak and we’re definitely not disgusted by you. You’ve been going through a lot lately and you’re handling it your own way. And don’t you ever say you’re a disgrace in any situation, do you hear me?” His father looks into his eyes, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Josh nods, unconvinced by his father’s words, but moved at the effort he gave to cheer him up.

“Let me see him.” Mrs. Dun wipes her eyes looking at the sleeping boy.

Josh gently picks up his son, trying not to disturb his sleep. He hands the baby over to his mother who smiles while sniffing at the sight of him.

“He’s so beautiful…” she whispers as tears trail down her face, “I just wish there hadn’t been a consequence…”

-

The Dun kids reach Ashley’s place, not exactly sure what they’re about to do. One by one, they file up the stairs to Ashley’s apartment, secretly hoping she won’t answer the door when they knock, hoping that she doesn’t answer.

But she does.

Dressed in pajamas and messy hair, she squints her eyes at the afternoon light coming through the crack of her door. She came straight out of a strange dream that now escapes her. Although every other thought escapes her, she remembers one detail clearly: Red glowing eyes.

“Ashley, Abby…Jordan?” She squints her eyes, “What are you doing here?” Utterly baffled, she checks the digital clock on her cable box.

“We need to talk.” Abby invites herself into Ashley’s place which smells like a bath and body works store. Jordan and Ashley follow behind, wondering what Abby plans on doing.

Josh’s ex closes the door, staring at the three of them, “Y-you…you know…don’t you?”

“It’s taking every fiber of my being not to hurt you right now, but yes,” Abby sniffs, “we do.”

The brunette sighs, walking over to sit down on the armchair adjacent to the couch the siblings are sitting on. She sinks into it, preparing herself for confrontation.

“Why, is my question. Why the HECK would you do that to him? After everything you did already, you had to add onto it, huh?” Jordan’s face turns red as he says this, voice slowly rising to a yell.

“Look, I know what I did and I regret it okay? I don’t need you to come into _my place_ and tell _me_ something I already know.” Ashley stands up, upset by the fact that they decide to come into her place and disrespect her.

“Obviously, someone needs to because you never seem to get it through your head.” Abby stands up too, getting in Ashley’s face.

“Well it isn’t my fault that Josh was so naïve.”

That comment strikes a nerve in the hearts of the siblings’ and everything goes south. Abby slaps Ashley in the face, shoving her as well.

“DON’T YOU EVER SAY THAT ABOUT MY BROTHER. You act like you’ve changed but you’ll never change. You’re a cold-hearted woman.” Abby shoves her again, furious.

“You know I could charge you with assault.” Ashley yells at Abby whose fists are ready to collide with her face.

“That makes two of us then.” Abby smirks, still angry, but finding a loop hole, “You see, I’d get off on a shorter sentence than you, because sexual assault can go for longer. And I won’t have to live with what I’ve done to somebody else.”

“But who would believe a man saying a woman did that to him, huh? All I have to do is shed a few tears, tell them he’s lying and I’m home free.”

In a moments time, Ashley tackles the brunette, hitting her repeatedly. “YOU MONSTER!” She cries.

Ashley scratches her back, causing small cuts on the red head’s face.

Josh’s ex gets on top of Ashley, now punching her. Abby intervenes, pulling her away from her sister who’s crying loudly and holding a possibly broken nose. Abby then throws her towards the couch where Ashley lands, grunting on impact. Jordan attends to his crying sister, scowling at her.

The woman on the couch breathes heavily, wiping blood away from her busted lip, hissing at the pain from it, “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE.” Ashley screams at the three of them.

“You can’t call the police, especially with what you did.” Jordan states, helping his sister up, “And, I got a recording of your little ‘statement’ so the odds are against you.”

“GET OUT.”

-

“My first grandson. How beautiful.” Bill holds him, smiling sadly. They sit on the couch, Bill taking in the new baby and Emerson drifting off to sleep in his arms.

Laura and Josh, however, sit at the table, hands wrapped around mugs of coffee and barely present smiles.

“She knew the whole time…She didn’t tell me until 3 months ago. She-she lied about being…s-s….sexually…assaulted to have pity…I-I missed the birth of my first son…and the first major year of his life. I don’t want him to move to go back and forth between parents, but I also don’t want him to be without a mother…” Josh confesses to his mother who listens intently.

“Oh Josh…I know it’s hard, but…If you know it’s hard, but…If you know she did it…you need to tell the authorities…She can’t get away with this.” His mother informs him, sipping her coffee.

“Nobody’ll believe me mom…”

“You don’t know tha-“

She’s cut off by her other three children busting through the front door.

“Put her in jail. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her.” Abby shakes her head, stomping over to the couch with a frown plastered on her face.

Ashley comes in, scowling, nose bandaged up from the fight, fresh cuts on her face. She takes a seat next to Abby and grunts loudly. “She hasn’t fricking changed and she never will, that-“

“No swearing in the house Ashley. Watch your tongue.” Momma Dun snaps, rubbing her eldest son’s hand.

“What happened? Ashley, are you alright?” Her mother changes tones as she notices the bandages and scratches on her face.

“I fought her.”

“ASHLEY!”

“She was out of line,” Ashley states, “So I fought her.”

“At least she didn’t kill her, because she looked like she wanted to.”

“Jordan!” His mother yells in disbelief.

“You have to put her in jail Josh. Please. We have evidence, so you can have some support to testify…” Jordan holds up his phone, hopeful that his brother can finally have justice.

Josh cries. This is a mess. His sister got hurt because of him. Everybody’s stressing out about it. He can’t take it anymore.

“NO! I’m not doing it. My son needs a mother and I don’t want to explain why his isn’t around. I just don’t stand a chance. I’m so sorry this happened, but it’s already done.” He stands up, tears still freely flowing from his eyes, and runs upstairs to his room, slamming the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while huh? A month...wowza...well I'll probably update a little bit sooner for the next chapter. It's gonna get a little bit spicy for the next chapter...


End file.
